"Can you play more like a MAN?

If I had a nickel for every time a conductor told me that...hah, I would be able to easily afford the "education" that they so forcefully bestow upon me. I do sound bitter.

Do not get me wrong. I LOVE PLAYING MUSIC. There is no greater feeling in the world than standing alone on a stage with the bright lights transfixed upon your trembling figure. Breathing your last breathe as you lower your hands from the instrument and let the applause wash over you. To be inspired and to inspire.

But there are those days, those trying days, where you cannot seem to play anything right. The whole orchestra is watching, waiting for you to play your part correctly...for the 3rd, 4th, maybe even 5th time. Tensions are running high and the conductor is getting frustrated, so what does he do? "Well, that's ok, but...can you play more like a man?"

What does that mean? Aside from sounding super-duper politically incorrect, it is also remarkably vague. What does a man play like? Loud, soft, supple, full, dry, articulate, rough, slow, marcato, legato, faster, slower? If someone said, "ride a bike like a man" what would you do? I would probably laugh and pretend to ride like a monkey. I'm even laughing at the idea of someone asking me to play like a man.

However, in orchestra, the biggest hierarchy known to music, what the conductor says generally goes. If the conductor is good, he's as good as gold (maybe even God). I say 'he' because female conductors are the rarest, most endangered creature in the world. In order to understand the gravity that a statement like this has, you need to understand that classical music is built on tradition, respect, discipline, and perfection. All of these components contribute to successful musicians and in turn make-up successful orchestras.

In college, a great orchestra thrives on psychological torments and constant pressure to be perfect. Of course, music students subject themselves to this because they wish to be the best and play with the best musicians. When a conductor singles you out, nine times out of ten its negative. That means that they heard something or you are doing something that sends a red flag up. The job of the conductor is to guide the orchestra and to create the best possible playing environment. Though, every once in a while, conductors will resort to less-than-kosher practices to squeeze the results they want out of a musician.

In the last four years of playing percussion, I have never once witnessed a male musician being told to "play like a man." That statement would be absurd and degrading. Yet, in the last month I have been told this phrase twice and I have observed another female percussionist being told the same thing in another rehearsal.

It is not a matter of whether or not I "play like a man." Instead, it is the manner, meaning, and effectiveness of a comment like this. It is inappropriate, degrading, vague, and psychologically scarring-telling female musicians subconsciously that their ideal musical standard should be based on their male compatriots. Just to tip the scale of inequality even more, I have never heard a conductor tell male musicians to play more like women.